Heartache
by moonjat54
Summary: Josh is dead. Mick and Beth have to see if they can get past the guilt. 1st chapter, we'll see if there's more
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Moonlight, but I'm glad they let me play with their characters.**

**This was conceived and written before the last two episodes were aired. I have Matchbox 20 on the brain since I'll be seeing them in Feb. That also had me thinking Valentine's Day. So I'm going with that. Please let me know if I'm getting any better at this.**

**I so love how the actual writers of this show get the emotions so ri****ght.**

Heartache

It's alright, why don't you tell me my friend, you'll still be there when the heartache ends.

When the Heartache Ends—Rob Thomas

Chapter 1

Beth sat staring at her computer screen. The Buzzwire news room was quieter than usual. She glanced at the clock and realized it was 11:30 PM. She had a hard time keeping track of time these days. The story in front of her held no interest to her, but she needed to finish it. Beth snuck a look at Mo's door to see what her boss was up to. Maureen was absorbed with her computer screen. Mo had been easy on her lately. Everyone had been so careful around her. She could feel people watching when they thought she wouldn't notice.

"Josh is dead." The thought clanged in her head. She felt empty and cold. Tears threatened to spill out once more. There were days when all she felt like doing was crying.

"Get a grip Turner," Beth muttered. "Just finish this and get yourself home. You can fall apart then." She took a deep breath and returned to her task. Ten minutes later she'd put the finishing touches on the bank robbery story she had covered. Cleaning up her space she grabbed her coat and purse and headed out.

"It's done Maureen" she said as she passed her door.

"Okay Beth. Are you all right?" Mo came to the door and looked at Beth in concern.

Beth nodded.

"I'll be fine," she said bleakly and headed out of the office. Walking to the parking area, Beth found her mind rerunning the last several weeks. She had been spending a lot of time trapped in this constant replay of thoughts.

Josh had been killed. The case had gone so terribly wrong. Mick had refused to turn him to save his life. She had begged and he wouldn't do it. Couldn't do it, if she was going to be fair. She knew she had asked a lot of him. She understood Mick's reluctance. She understood now, but not then. But if only….. If only didn't bring Josh back.

Tears leaked past her defenses again. She felt so guilty. Running to New York with Mick had been selfish. Her conflicted feelings for the two men tore at her. She had hurt Josh and felt awful about that. What had she been thinking? She had wanted what both men offered. She loved how Josh took care of her, his strong stable influence in her life. And with Mick there was the danger, the excitement and the just below the surface passion.

She lost both of them so quickly. Josh was gone forever and Beth had barely held it together through the funeral. Her anger at Mick had driven him away. She knew he had felt guilty for not being able to do what Beth had asked of him. She had been cruel the last time they spoke. She didn't even know how to begin repairing the damage. Josef had come to Josh's funeral. That had surprised Beth. He had offered his condolences, but had not said anything about Mick.

With tears running down her cheeks, she dug through her bag searching for her keys. When she found them, she looked up sniffing back this latest round of tears. There was someone standing alongside her car. Even though he was in the shadows, Beth recognized him instantly. Her heart did a little lurch and then thudded painfully.

"Beth?" his low voice made it a question.

"Hey Mick," she answered with a hitch in her voice.

"Beth, I'm so sorry," Mick said moving a couple of steps towards her. She froze, not able to move ahead or retreat. Mick saw her hesitate and stopped where he was. "I….uh….I meant to come sooner, I just wasn't sure you wanted to see me."

"It's okay Mick," Beth said finding her voice. "I wasn't sure what I wanted either." She felt her head swimming. There he stood his eyes so sad and regret written all over his face. Beth knew how he took so much responsibility on his shoulders.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

Beth tried to stifle a sob and threw her head back, blinking tears away. She looked at him through wet lashes and gave him a half-hearted smile.

"I wish I had a dollar for every person who has asked me that," she choked. "I'd be rich. No Mick, I'm not all right. I may never be all right again."

Mick was in front of her in a rush. He stopped, unsure if he dared to touch her. She looked so fragile.

"I'm sorry," he breathed softly. "I wish……"

"I wish too," she sobbed and collapsed.

Mick caught her in his arms and held her tight. A storm of tears poured out of Beth. She grabbed a hold of his coat front and buried her head in his chest. Mick gently stroked her hair with one hand while holding her tight with the other. He murmured wordless comfort sounds and kissed the top of her head.

"Ssh, Beth. You'll be okay," he promised as the torrent of tear started to subside. "It will be okay."

Beth hiccupped and swallowed the last of her tears. She felt calmer and empty. She rested her forehead against his chest, feeling his calm breathing. She couldn't open her fingers to release her grip on his coat. If he didn't have her in his strong embrace she knew her legs wouldn't hold her.

"You'd think I wouldn't have any more tears left in me," she said at last. "I should be dried out by now."

"You are entitled. Beth, no one should have had to face what you have these last weeks. I wish I could make it different. I wish I could have done what you asked of me."

Beth looked up at him with pain in her eyes.

"I let Josh down," she said. "I wasn't there for him lately. I hurt him."

"Because of me," Mick said roughly. "Because I drew you into my world."

Beth stood straighter and released her grip on his coat. She laid her hands flat on his chest.

"I went willingly into your world," she corrected. "Mick, I made my own choices. And doing so, I hurt Josh. Maybe I would have eventually. I asked you to do something I had no right to ask. I'm sorry."

"We're a sorry pair," Mick said with a slight smile.

Beth smiled back weakly. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," Mick said taking her face gently in his hands. "I was afraid you would shut me out forever."

"Forever is a long time," Beth answered.

Mick stared into her eyes. She looked better now. He should go, but he couldn't let go of her. He had always kept coming back. Josef had stopped by after the funeral and chewed him out. He never thought Josef Konstantin would push him towards a human, but the world was changing.

"Would you like to go somewhere?" he asked. "Or do you have to go home?"

"I'm tired Mick."

"Sure, I just thought….."

"Thought what?" Beth asked.

"Thought you might not want to go home, to be alone."

Beth looked away. She hated the word alone. She wasn't her own best company these days.

"I don't want to go home Mick. Take me to your place, please." The words were out of her mouth before she thought about what she had said.

Mick looked at her with a little frown on his face. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm so sick of my own company. Please, Mick, I need a friend right now."

"You've got one" he said. "Let's take my car."

Mick steered her to his car, opening the door for her. She slid in and smiled weakly at him as he got in the driver's side. She closed her eyes as the night air blew over her. It was unusually warm for the time of year. Uncomfortable with the silence Mick switched on the radio.

"It's never easy and you never know. What leaves you crying and what makes you whole." Rob Thomas' voice sang sadly. Mick clicked it off quickly.

"Sorry," he said. "Even the radio is sad tonight."

"I like the song though," Beth said.

She didn't say anything else as they drove to Mick's place. Mick keyed the door open and ushered her in. He activated the crystal fireplace, liking the comforting glow it added to the room. Beth took off her coat and sat down on the couch.

"Would you like something to drink?" Mick asked.

"No……uh yes," Beth said with a shake of her head.

Mick poured her a scotch and took it over to her. He took a seat in the chair near her. Beth took a sip and wrinkled her nose as she swallowed.

"Want something else?"

"No. This is perfect," she said and took a bigger swallow. She looked at him and smiled. The spreading warmth from the alcohol felt good. Beth looked closer at Mick. He looked uncomfortable and she didn't think it had anything to do with her.

"Mick, are you okay?"

"Yea. I'm going to be."

She nodded, not wanting to rehash the last few weeks. It was comforting to sit in Mick's apartment with him close by. She felt some balance in herself being restored. She took another sip of her drink. It didn't take much to realize that it could go to her head in a hurry on her empty stomach.

"What were you doing at Buzzwire tonight?" she asked.

"I have something for you," Mick said reaching into his pocket. "I wanted to make sure you got it today."

"Today?" Beth questioned. "What's so important about today?"

Mick came and sat next to her on the couch. He took her hand and held it out palm up.

"Look at the clock. It's after midnight. Today is February 14th."

Beth's eyes went wide.

"Valentine's Day?" she said.

Mick nodded and let a gold chain trickle down into her hand. An oval disk with an angel stamped on it lay on top of the chain.

"Here's a real guardian angel," Mick said with a sheepish grin. "I bought it in New York."

Beth closed her hand over the necklace and shut her eyes. She didn't want to cry again. It was perfect.

"Beth?"

"Oh, Mick, thank you," she said smiling up at him. She opened her hand and looked at it closer. "It's beautiful." He leaned in and took it out of her hand.

"Try it on," he said and undid the clasp. She lifted her hair and he fastened it. Mick didn't take his hands from her neck. He stroked his fingers over her skin lightly.

Their faces were close; Beth could feel his breath on her face. She found herself looking at his mouth. Her thoughts blurred a little. Mick had never initiated anything; she didn't know how to understand this. She looked up into his eyes.

Mick leaned in and kissed her. His kiss was light, lips gently pressing to hers. But he didn't break it off, just delivered a series of light kisses as if he were afraid to unleash anything more urgent.

Mick pulled back, studying her expression. He looked as if he expected rejection. Beth melted. He looked as if bracing for a slap and Beth reached up to lightly stroke his cheek.

"Mick don't look so sad," she said, her voice full of emotion. "It's okay."

"I'm afraid, Beth," Mick confessed.

"Of what, Mick? I can't see you afraid of anything." Beth said puzzled.

"I'm afraid of how I feel about you. I'm afraid of what I've done to your life," he said and looked down. He couldn't meet her gaze.

Beth lifted his chin, forcing him to look at her.

"What do you feel? Do not keep me in the dark. Mick, how can I decide where to go in my life if you don't ever tell me the truth?"

"I love you Beth. So much that I can't imagine being without you. But I don't have that right."

"Stop that!" Beth ordered gently. She placed both hands alongside his face, forcing him to keep looking at her. "Don't play the martyr, it's not right. How many times do I have to tell you, you are not a monster?"

"I've learned that I can't change what I am," he whispered.

"Who's asking?" Beth pointed out. "I don't ever recall saying that I like you, but I wish you weren't a vampire. Have I ever asked you to be different?"

"No."

"Mick, we have issues. But let's not throw things into that pot that have no part in the discussion," she said sternly. "We've danced around this so long that it's the reason I hurt Josh. I hurt Josh, not you. I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life. Don't make me hurt you any more than I've already have. I know I said some terrible things." She leaned up and kissed him softly.

Mick pulled her into a hug and held her head against him. He stroked her soft hair. At this point he would have been content to sit there forever. Just holding her, hearing her heartbeat put his heart at rest.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love," he whispered.

"Oh Mick, I wish I knew exactly how I feel. At this moment I'm too messed up to answer you. Please be patient with me. Mick, please understand," Beth begged and hugged him tightly. She had to make him understand that now was not the time for promises. She had so much to sort out before she could tell him what was in her heart. She had to forgive herself before she could give him any hope.

"I can wait. I have time," she heard him say softly, his voice full of emotion.

He leaned back and held her close. Beth snuggled in his arms, resting her head on his chest. It felt so good to be held. It was good to let go of all her inner conflicts finally. She had been so tightly wound up since Josh had died.

Mick felt her relax and knew when she fell asleep. He sat there, content to hold her. He had spoken the words that he had buried so long. He understood why she hadn't been able to say them back. Not right now. But he could wait.

End chapter.

* * *

**Please review. I have some more but I am not sure if it should go beyond a one shot. I'm posting this after ****seeing Love**** Lasts Forever but before the final episode. I need to know if anyone is enjoying this. Please help. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Moonlight. If I did I'd be negotiating with the writers as we speak.**

**Okay—Chapter 2. I'm so much better at one shots. So this may seem a bit transitional in places, but if it gets me where we want to go……forgive me.**

**And a ****huge ****THANK**** YOU to all of you who reviewed. I was very giddy on Sunday. Just ask my son and husband. I hope I don't let you down.**

Chapter 2

Call on me. I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me. Ever the Same—Rob Thomas

Beth woke up. She was not surprised to find herself in Mick's apartment. The surprise was to find herself still in Mick's arms. He had fallen asleep holding her safe. With a small sigh she settled closer, enjoying the feel of his arms around her.

He loved her. He had told her that last night. She felt like a piece of her heart had healed. Beth studied Mick's face. He looked so peaceful in sleep, so young. She couldn't resist reaching up to touch him.

Mick's eyes fluttered open and his face broke into a happy smile.

"Good morning. I'm so glad this wasn't a dream," he said, giving her a little squeeze.

Beth smiled back. She could see the early morning sun starting to lighten the room.

"Mick, don't you have to sleep in the day? It's morning," she said worriedly.

"I slept. This was so much nicer. I couldn't disturb you. You needed the sleep," Mick said sitting up. Beth hated to leave his arms, but she got up from the couch.

"Thank you Mick," she said self-consciously. She touched the disk hanging around her neck. "I have two angels now.

Mick looked uncomfortable and got to his feet.

"Would you like some coffee?" he asked heading to the kitchen.

"I'd love some," she said following him. He stopped.

"Beth…. I ….uh…"

"If you are thinking of taking back anything you said last night I'm leaving. Don't tell me it was a mistake and you didn't mean it. I couldn't bear it." Beth said softly.

"Beth, no," Mick protested. He came around the island and took hold of her shoulders. "Beth, I do love you. I won't take that back. I was trying to ask if we could do something tonight. It is still Valentine's Day." Hope was showing in his eyes.

"Oh," Beth said in pleasant relief. "I forgot. I guess I'm still touchy. I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven," he said kissing her on the forehead. "Dinner might prove awkward, how about a movie?"

"So you can nibble on my neck in the dark?" Beth giggled. "Ooh sorry."

"It's a good to see you smile," Mick said with a quick hug. "Coffee coming up." He went back to the coffee pot.

"How about dancing?" Beth suggested, leaning on the counter.

"I'd have thought your visits to Club Valis would have cured you of clubs," Mick grinned.

"I wasn't thinking of clubs. Something more old-fashioned."

Mick shook his head in amusement.

"Nice try Beth. I'd rather not take that trip down memory lane," he said. "I'm sure we can find something more in the here and now."

"Okay," she agreed brightly. It felt so good to have a normal conversation. And Mick didn't look at her like she'd crumble at any moment. Trying to be brave in front of everyone had become tiring.

Mick brought her a mug of coffee.

"Aren't you having anything?" she asked, accepting the mug. "You don't have to hide things from me. If I can't handle the sight of you drinking blood, we're in a lot of trouble."

"Okay," he said slowly and went and poured himself a glass of blood from his supply. Beth watched him curiously.

"What? Do you want a taste?" he teased.

"No." Beth blushed. "Does it have taste to you, or is it just sustenance?"

"Oh, there is taste. Just like wine Beth, some of you are better vintages than others," he said with a wicked grin.

"I'll keep that in mind," Beth said dryly. "I suppose you were to out of it to remember how I tasted."

Mick moved close to her, forcing her to look up at him. He ran a finger along her jaw, to her ear and then down her neck to her collarbone.

"You were delicious," he said staring at the vein in her neck. Beth blushed even deeper.

There came a click from Mick's door lock and the door swing open. Josef strode in as if he owned the place. He quickly took in the scene before him. Mick and Beth stood so close, they were almost touching. Beth held her coffee mug and was staring up at Mick. Mick stood transfixed, staring at Beth's neck, his glass of blood dangling from his fingertips.

"This is cozy. Please, pretend I'm not here." Josef quipped as he walked in. He dashed forward to catch Mick's glass as it slipped from his fingers. Josef caught it and took a sip, as Beth stepped away from Mick. "Why don't you ever have AB negative?" he asked handing the glass back to Mick. "Hello Beth."

"Don't you ever knock?" Mick muttered.

Josef walked past him and gave Beth a surprising quick hug. "You're looking better," he said softly.

"Thanks," Beth said. "I'm feeling better, today."

"Well," Josef said abruptly and swung back to Mick. "I was going to suggest poker tonight. The new digs aren't as nice as the old but will do until the reconstruction is finished. Am I correct that you'll be turning me down?"

Mick nodded. "That's right. I have plans."

"We have plans," Beth added.

Josef looked at Mick with raised eyebrows.

"Well, well, well." Josef rubbed his hands together. "Isn't this sweet. Are you two dating now?"

"Josef!" Mick admonished. "Will you please shut up."

Beth choked on a laugh at the look on Josef's face. The older vampire looked flabbergasted. She had never seen him look at a loss.

Mick draped an arm around Josef's shoulders and steered him towards the door.

"It's Valentine's Day buddy. Give me a break," he said under his breath. "She's very vulnerable right now. I have to be careful not to hurt her. No jokes Josef."

"You hurt her and you'll answer to me," Josef replied just as soft. "Good luck."

"Bye Josef. I'll be in touch," Mick said louder for Beth's benefit. He closed the door and turned back to Beth.

"Sorry about him. Tact is not one of Josef's strong points," he said as he came back to her.

"He's special just as he is," Beth said taking a sip of coffee. She glanced at her watch. "I should go. Mo will expect me in even if I did stay late last night. I'm glad I did. "

"Me too."

Beth paused for a moment. She looked at Mick in embarrassment.

"My car is at Buzz Wire. I'll have to call a cab."

"I'll take you."

"No, I'll call a cab. It's okay." She had her phone out and made the call before Mick could protest further. She looked up. "Ten minutes. No problem. Mick that's the best I have slept in a long time. Thanks."

"No problem." Mick took her mug and set it next to his glass on the counter. "I'll pick you up at seven if that's okay?"

"Come to Buzz Wire, I'll be changed and ready. Uh, what should I be changing into?" she asked.

"Not too dressy. I have an idea. I hope you aren't disappointed," he asked, noting the look on her face.

"No, intrigued," Beth said. "I can't wait to see what you have in mind."

"Good, I like seeing you smile again," Mick said and then kissed her lightly. She kissed back, feeling her heart skip a beat. It was a sweet, gentle kiss. Beth felt Mick was holding back. She had been so angry after Josh died; she had said so many angry things to him. It touched her heart that he wanted to slowly win her back. There was a sweet old-fashioned air to him.

"I'll see you tonight," Beth said. "Get some real rest, okay?"

"As you wish," Mick smiled. "I'm glad you aren't still angry with me."

Beth nodded her eyes solemn.

"I know that I was wrong to ask what I did. I know how I hurt you. I was angry at myself and I struck out at you. I'm glad you could forgive me."

"It's over. Let's start fresh."

"Fresh. I like that," Beth agreed. Her phone rang and she dug it back out of her bag. "Hey Mo, what's up?"

"Hate to nag Beth, but the three robbery suspects are in court at 10:30 this morning. Can you cover?"

"Sure. I'm not sure that the court appearance will reveal anything new."

"Let's be thorough, okay?"

"Okay." Beth clicked off and made a face.

"A morning at the courthouse. Will you be okay?" Mick asked.

"I forgot about your hearing. Yea, I just get to tell all Josh's friends that I'm okay. I've got to learn to deal with this." Beth did not look happy at the prospect.

Mick picked up her coat and held it out so she could slip into it. She smiled at him as she did so.

"Such a gentleman." She commented. "I'll be ready at seven. I'm afraid I'm going need something to take my mind off today."

"I can promise you that," Mick said kissing her on the cheek. "Now get going so your boss doesn't keep you after work."

"I'd like to see her try."

Mick saw her to the door. It was hard to let her leave the apartment. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and make her stay with him. Standing in the doorway he watched her until the elevator doors closed. He felt lighter in spirit than he had in a long time.

End chapter.

**Well I'm trying to envision how far I can go with this.**

**My chapter lengths will vary. I'm working on chapter 3, date night as such. Please review. I ****know I**** don't always nail the characters well. I'm trying for a less brooding Mick. Let me know if I'm close.**

**Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. It touches my heart to have so many read this.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Moonlight. But I have been living in their world since September, in my head.**

**Thank you****, thank**** you, THANK YOU to all who have reviewed here. I appreciate each and every one of you. It's addicting, my husband thinks I like the computer more than him. Not true.**

**Here's**** date night. I wanted it**** special without going over the edge. I hope it pleases you.**

Chapter 3

Tell me all the times that I've been loving you, you love me, love me, love me too.

Fallin to Pieces—Rob Thomas

The day was harder than she thought it would be. Beth had run into so many of Josh's friends and colleagues. There had been so many questions to answer and so much sympathy. She felt like she was drowning in kind words and concerned looks.

"I really should charge a dollar for every time I tell someone I'm okay," she muttered to herself as she waited outside the courtroom for the hearing to begin. Her head was beginning to ache.

"Beth." She heard her name called and saw Carl Davis approaching. "How….."

"Don't ask," she said raising a hand to stop him. "I'm okay."

"Good," Carl said. "Are you covering the 1st Federal hearing?"

"Yea, Mo seems to think there might be something of interest. I can't imagine what."

"It's good to see you out and about for whatever reason," Carl said kindly. "Life goes on and all that. Josh was not the kind of guy to want you to hide away and brood forever."

"Thanks Carl. I appreciate that. It helps to be busy. I'm trying to move on."

"Don't be a stranger. I expect to be chasing you away from crime scenes soon" he said and touched her on the shoulder before moving on down the hall.

The courtroom scene went pretty much as expected. The assistant DA requested no bail, the defense countered with the fact that this was a first offense for all three and low bail was enough. The judge decided to take the middle road and all parties seemed content. Beth returned to Buzz Wire and worked on her report.

When seven rolled around Beth had changed into charcoal slacks, white tailored shirt and a navy, short blazer. She hoped this covered the "not too dressy" that Mick had suggested. She was shutting down her computer when Mick showed up. She noted he was dressed as usual in dark slacks, shirt and long coat.

"Ah—that perpetual cool is showing again," she said with a smile as he stopped by her desk.

"It is a curse," Mick said smiling back. "You've managed quite well yourself."

"Thank you," she blushed, and then glanced over where Mo was standing in her office doorway.

"Taking off?" Maureen asked.

"Yea, I recorded the report. I'm done here,"

"Okay." Maureen looked Mick over critically. "Haven't seen you around in awhile St. John. Do you know if Morgan has any plans to return?"

"Uh, no," Mick said caught off guard. "Haven't seen her around in a while."

Mo nodded. She noticed the look Beth threw at Mick. She also noted the discomfort her question caused the PI.

"Take care of my reporter," she ordered and went back into her office.

"Well, didn't see that coming," Beth said with a shake of her head.

"You heard the lady. Let's go," Mick said and with a hand on her shoulder, he guided her out of the newsroom. "Mind if I drive again?" he asked.

"It's your call," Beth said lightly. She could feel the tension of the day begin to ease.

They got into Mick's car and they pulled out of the parking ramp.

"Where are we going?" she asked curiously.

"Don't ruin the surprise," Mick admonished. "You'll like it Beth. Just relax."

After they had driven about twenty minutes, Mick pulled into a parking area of a large park. Stopped, Mick got out and went to the trunk. He pulled out a basket, a blanket and a cooler.

"Come on," he said and started down a gentle slope. Beth followed eagerly.

When they broke through the trees, Beth saw that there was a stage below and the slope was dotted with blankets and chairs and people gathered for the concert. Mick went to the left and found a private spot with a good view of the stage.

"It's a Valentine's concert. Some local college talent," he said as he spread the blanket on the ground. "We can listen and watch the stars."

"Perfect," Beth breathed as she settled herself on the blanket. The sky was all ready starting to darken.

Mick set the basket and cooler down behind them and sat next to her. He opened the basket.

"Dinner for the lady," he announced and brought out a container of fried chicken. "There are chips-no garlic- and some fresh veggies. And this…." He added pulling a bottle of champagne from the tall cooler. "No Valentine's Day should be without some sparkle."

He opened the champagne and fished a glass out of the basket. He poured a glass and handed it to Beth.

"What about you?" she asked.

"I'll make do with this," he said, bringing out a smaller bottle of ruby liquid. He poured it into another flute.

"To the future, where ever it may lead," Mick said and clinked his glass lightly against hers.

Beth drank, enjoying the bubbles in the wine. Her eyes locked on Mick's and she leaned forward to kiss him. She could almost taste the residue of blood on his lips. It didn't repulse her as she had often imagined.

"You really put some thought into this," she commented looking at the food in front of her. She took a chicken leg and bit into it. "Mick, this is so special. I'm touched."

There was an orchestra warming up onstage. Beth's eyes glowed in excitement. This was special. She felt deeply moved that Mick had planned something so out of the ordinary for her. The orchestra began their first number. The notes floated over the air as Mick drank from his glass and then leaned close to Beth.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he said quietly. "I love you. I've waited so long to say that to you." He took her chin and pulled her close into a sweet, gentle kiss. Again Beth could almost feel the tight restraint he held himself under. Her stomach jumped and her senses tingled. Lips parting, Mick sat back and smiled at her. He glanced at the food.

"Eat, eat," he urged. "I can't have you fainting from hunger on me tonight."

Beth picked up the chicken leg and looked at him with raised eyebrows. She didn't say anything but finished the chicken. They sat together listening to the concert as Beth ate some more. Mick then helped her pack the rest away and then drew her back against him to listen. As the night darkened deeper, Beth leaned back against his chest, watching the stars come out above the stage. The orchestra was moving through a series of love songs. She shivered a little and Mick pulled her in closer.

"Do you want the blanket around you?" he asked.

"No," Beth said. "Just hold me. This is perfect; I don't want to break the spell."

She felt his chest rumble as he chuckled.

"I've never done perfect before. I'm glad you're happy," he said.

Beth twisted in his arms and taking hold of his face, kissed him hard. Mick tumbled over on his back with his arms full of Beth. This was no gentle kiss. Beth poured her heart into it, doing what she had been unable to say out loud. Mick found himself responding whole heartedly. One hand was fisted in her hair; the other arm was around her waist. He held her tight.

Beth in his arms. Beth alive and loving. Mick's undead heart almost began beating again. His soul soared. Suddenly she pulled away, bracing both hands on the blanket along side of his head. She stared down him, breathing hard. Mick could hear her increased heart rate.

"Wow," she sighed. "I had a feeling you were holding back."

"Wow yourself," Mick grinned. His hands rested on her waist. "Ms Turner, has anyone spoken to you about that aggressive streak?"

"Someone had to shake things up," she said and lowered herself into another kiss.

Mick felt a low growl escape. He tried to dampen the vampire response. He didn't want to frighten Beth. A shiver ran through Beth at his growl.

"I won't hurt you Beth," he whispered.

"I trust you Mick."

He looked into her beautiful big, blue eyes. He still couldn't believe this was happening. Monster's dreams don't come true. But Beth had kept telling him that he wasn't a monster. A small voice in the back of his mind kept reminding him that Beth's emotions had been on a roller coaster ride lately. It would be so easy to take advantage of her. He knew he have to be the one in control.

Mick looked around. People were gathering things together and heading out. The concert had ended and he hadn't noticed.

"We are in serious danger of becoming a public spectacle," Mick grinned at her.

"People sure can ruin things," Beth grinned back. She rolled off of him and sat up. Mick got to his feet and pulled Beth up also. They gathered the blanket, basket and cooler together. As they walked to the car Beth bumped Mick with her shoulder.

"Great date Mick," she said lightly.

"It was rather nice, wasn't it?" Mick returned. He loved the relaxed look on her face. The pain from last night had been erased. He could forget himself in this woman's eyes. At the car they put the stuff away and got in. Mick pulled away and as he drove, Beth started to giggle.

"What?"

"My car is still at Buzz Wire," she pointed out. He grinned at her.

"I don't plan this well, do I?" he asked. "You can tell I'm rusty. It's been decades since I've dated."

"It's okay. I'm sure you'll get back in the hang of it soon," she laughed.

They got to Buzz Wire's parking ramp and Mick stopped next to Beth's car.

"Thanks Mick," she said and got out. He was out of the car and at her side in a blink.

"Okay, I'm used to the jumping thing and I believe I can adapt to the blood drinking. But this speed business is going to take some getting used to," Beth commented.

"Just remember if you run I can catch you," Mick said moving in even closer.

"I'm counting on it," Beth sighed and brought her arms around his neck. She kissed him warmly. Mick wrapped his arms around her and responded. Beth felt an electric shock run through her body.

"This was a wonderful night," Beth said. "Thank you."

"My pleasure. And next time I'll pick you up at your place. Then we don't have to say good night in a parking ramp."

"Next time. I like that," Beth nodded.

Mick leaned in and kissed her quickly. Beth felt that jolt again, stronger this time.

"Would you like me to follow and make sure you get home safe?" Mick asked.

"I'll be fine," Beth reassured him. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes," Mick promised. He kissed her one last quick time and let her go.

"Good night Mick. You made this a memorable Valentine's Day." Beth got in her car. Mick returned to his as she pulled out.

"Memorable is right," Mick said under his breath. "I only hope we can have many more."

He followed her out of the parking ramp and at a discreet distance made sure she arrived home safe. When her light went on in her apartment, Mick drove away.

End chapter.

**So, it's time to end the heartache. One last chapter coming. I love the input, please review. Thanks for caring enough to post.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Moonlight. But I want to! I need new episodes.**

**Again I wish to thank those who have reviewed, put me on their Alert, Favorite Author, Favorite Story, etc. You have been so kind and made this so much fun. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.**

**Here's the final chapter. I've tried to inject some lightness into all the emotion. Truth is I just can't resist writing something with ****Josef;**** he's too much fun to avoid. I hope this wraps Heartache up successfully.**

Chapter 4

Lay your head upon my shoulder, lay your hand within my hand. I'll give you all that I am.

All That I Am ---- Rob Thomas

Beth parked her car outside Mick's apartment. It was almost midnight. He had called and caught her still at work. Beth had eagerly agreed to meet him back at his place. They hadn't seen each other in the last couple days because of work.

In the last three months since their Valentine's date they had been spending a lot of time together. Beth smiled as she thought about the creative ideas that Mick kept coming up with. They had visited art galleries, small music clubs, the zoo at dusk and her favorite; late night miniature golf. He kept it light and tried hard not to take her places Josh might have. There had been no movie nights at her place.

Josh. Beth found she could think about him now without the stabbing pain in her chest. Time did take the edge off the more painful memories. She no longer saw his dying face when she closed her eyes. The guilt was still there but it had lessened. Discovering that Josh had intended to propose had surprised her. Beth hated to admit that she was relieved not to have had to play that scene out. She had been saved the discomfort of turning him down. And she was pretty sure she would have said no.

In these last three months Beth had done a lot of soul searching. Her whole world had changed since the encounter by the fountain with Mick St John. She couldn't deny the connection she felt to him. And recently she had started having dreams, nightmares actually. Not of Josh dying, but of Mick. Different ways she would lose him. Understanding was beginning to dawn on her and she thought she knew how to stop the nightmares.

She entered the building and got on the elevator. Beth dug in her purse and pulled out the electronic key that Mick had given her. Smiling, she remembered him telling her if she needed to feel safe she should come here. He made her feel safe and she loved that about him. Beth stepped off the elevator, went down the hall and keyed the door open.

With a shriek, she dropped her purse in the doorway. Josef Konstantin was sitting there, facing the door. The fireplace crackled in the background.

"Well, hello to you too," Josef smirked. "Come in, don't faint in the doorway."

Beth scooped up her purse and came inside. The door shut softly behind her as she come around the couch and dropped her purse and coat in one corner of it.

"Mick didn't say anything about you being here when he asked me to meet him here."

"He doesn't know I'm here."

A shiver ran down Beth's spine, but she calmed herself. She was pretty sure Josef would never harm her. But he sure knew how to give off an intimidating attitude.

"Do you need his help?" she asked settling on the couch opposite him.

"Not really. I just don't see him much lately. Thought I'd check in on him. So, how's the dating going?" he enquired.

"Nice."

"That's it? Nice!" Josef said with raised eyebrows. "I really need to have a talk with Mick."

Beth blushed. She knew Josef was baiting her.

"Well, the truth is he is a very inventive boyfriend," she said with an amused look. She could tell she hit her mark by the look on his face. "He's sweet, attentive and a bit old-fashioned."

"Remember, he is 85," Josef said dryly.

"Then I can only imagine your dating techniques," she shot back.

Josef let out a genuine laugh.

"Touché'. I've been put in my place. Sorry about that."

"It's okay Josef. I'm happy and I hope that Mick is too."

"I believe he is," Josef said. "I never thought I'd say this to a human. You're good for Mick."

"Josef, I….uh… thanks," Beth said in shock.

She was saved from any more of the conservation when Mick entered the apartment.

"Well Josef, making yourself at home again I see." He took off his coat and sat beside Beth. "Hey love," he said quietly and kissed her on the cheek.

"You never call. You never stop by. I had to drag myself over here to see if you were still among the undead," Josef grinned.

"He knows I'm his only real friend," Mick said to Beth. She tried to cover a giggle at the look the older vampire had on his face. This felt so right to be here. Sitting here with two vampires and listening to them banter. Beth felt this was exactly where she was supposed to be. There had been a high cost getting to this point in her life, but she was happy.

"I'm planning poker tomorrow. Will you ever return to the game?" Josef asked. "I know we aren't in the blonde's league, but you aren't abandoning us completely I hope."

"Let's see. I could lose at cards to you or spend the evening with this lovely creature. What would you pick Josef?" Mick asked.

"You're whipped boy," Josef said getting to his feet. "I'm disappointed in you."

"Actually, he's free tomorrow night," Beth interrupted. Both men stared at her in surprise. "I have an assignment tomorrow night," she explained. "However, I can give you some quick poker lessons tonight so you can kick his butt tomorrow night," she added to Mick.

"You!" Josef sputtered.

"My aunt dealt in Vegas," Beth grinned wickedly. "She taught me everything she knew."

"She's lying," Josef said shaking his head in disbelief.

Beth's eyes sparkled.

"I don't think so," Mick said. "Her heart rate hasn't changed. I'm inclined to believe her." He laughed at his friend. "See you tomorrow night."

Josef left muttering to himself. He had also noticed she did not appear to be lying.

"That was priceless," Mick said and kissed her quickly. "Your aunt?"

"Yea, Aunt Tracy. She is a cool aunt," Beth laughed. "So what's up? Why did you call?"

"I missed you. I missed talking to you. I missed seeing you. And I missed this," he said and kissed her again.

"You say the sweetest things," Beth sighed. She sat straighter and took both his hands and held them. "I need to talk to you. I have been having dreams Mick. Some of them had been nightmares."

"About what?" Mick asked in concern. He tightened his fingers around hers. "Tell me."

"They're about you. You're hurt. Sometimes a staking, sometimes fire. I see Lee Jay with that torch. Sometimes it's Coraline. I lose you. It's different every time but the end is still the same," she said with a hitch in her voice.

"Beth, they're just dreams," he reassured her. "I'm okay. I'm not going anywhere."

Beth nodded.

"I know Mick. I've come to realize why I'm having them. They have forced me to look at my feelings. Mick, I'm afraid of losing you. I couldn't bear that. I need you in my life. I know my feelings now," she explained, her voice full of emotion.

The dawning realization of what she said lit Mick's face. Hope blossomed in his eyes. He wanted to pull her close but he held back afraid he wasn't hearing what he desperately hoped he was hearing.

"Beth," he breathed her name.

Her face broke into a beautiful smile. She nodded slightly. A rush ran through her as her eyes locked onto his.

"Yes, I love you Mick St John. I think I have for a long time, I just was hiding from myself." She blushed. "I don't know where this may go. I only know I can't go anywhere if you're not there."

Mick still sat as if frozen. He was afraid to move and break the spell. His mind was whirling with thoughts. He had dreamed of hearing those words and he was afraid of where they went now. He was still a vampire. That was not going to change. He could not condemn her to his undead world. She represented all that was life to him. But he selfishly didn't want her to go away. She loved him and his soul rejoiced at that news.

"Mick," Beth said vey softly. His thoughts were plain on his face. She knew exactly what he was thinking. "Please don't tell me this can't work. We've come too far. Just love me. The rest of the details can be worked out in time. Mick, just love me," she pleaded in a whisper.

"Oh Beth," his voice broke and he gathered close. He held her, his chin resting on her shoulder. He wanted to stop time right there. He could end his existence holding her.

Beth slid her arms around him. She stroked her hands up and down his back. She felt him shiver.

"I do love you," he promised. "You're right. We will deal with the future tomorrow. Tonight let's just be in the here and now."

"Yes, now," Beth echoed quietly. She pushed back and smiled up at him, tears in her eyes.

"Crying?"

"I'm happy. I'm finally happy," she said and Mick leaned in to kiss her. With their feelings unleashed, they both felt the electricity run through them. Mick could feel his fangs extend as the kiss deepened. Heat rushed through him. He tried to back off.

"Don't," Beth said and kissed him again. "Don't hide from me," she urged. "You won't harm me."

Mick kissed her with more intensity. He felt her trust in him. He let himself ride with the moment. He loved her. He had no idea where their future was going. It was enough that there was a future.

The End

**Once more I thank all of you who have reviewed. I hope I hit some more inspiration so I can write more. Wish the writers would settle the strike. I hope this final chapter was what you were waiting for. Let me know. **


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